Peter, by trade, was a fisherman. By the world's standards, he didn't have that much responsibility riding on his shoulders. His work was menial enough, and I don't know that there was all that much expected of him, other than to rope in those fish. While I'm sure a lot of people were thankful for the dinner his work provided, in all reality, although fishing was a noble profession, the Lord knew it wasn't going to be his biggest contribution to the world. The Lord saw more, who he really was, one of the most powerful disciples in any dispensation.
When beckoned to by the Lord, with the simple to invitation, "come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men," (Matt 4:19) he and his brother straightway left their nets. Jeffrey R Holland, in talk, citing another verse of scripture, interprets the adverb "straightway" as, "not slowly nor skeptically nor cynically but 'straightway," without any hesitation or doubt. Now, I'm not entirely sure if "leaving their nets" was a metaphor, but in my mind I see that these men not even taking the time to put their nets away. They just left them, on the shore, in their boats. Somewhere within them, at their core, something that Jesus said must have resonated. They must have felt deep down that this was something more important than their livelihood. It was an impulsive and rash decision to leave their things and their occupation so abruptly, to follow a path that one day (more than likely, unbeknownst to them) would cost them their very lives, but Peter knew it was good, and somewhere deep inside he knew that this was his calling.
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| "Against the Wind" by Liz Lemon Swindle |
It is experiences like this help us see the human fallibility in Peter, and is probably the reason most of us can relate to him. You see, Peter suffered from a condition that we all, from time to time, suffer from, doubt. He got distracted by the boisterous winds and the black sea, and in his heart, he had forgot that it was the Lord who helped him to accomplish this heretofore unheard of miracle, if only for a short time. He momentarily forgot that in Christ we can do all things, much less walk on water. Sound familiar?
After these events and others, Peter found himself to be the only one to be able to identify the divinity of Christ and is given great promises regarding the eventual formation of the Christ's church. Peter knew that Christ wasn't like other men, there was something different. He knew that Christ was the Son of the Living God.
It is then, following the sacrament, the Lord says that at some point all of his disciples will be offended, or that is, fall away. In his brashness, Peter states that, "though all men will be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended." (Matt 26:33) But Jesus, knowing Peter better than he knows himself, states that Peter will deny Christ three times before the cock crows. I don't know that I can imagine exactly what Peter was feeling, but I assume he said within himself, "No, I would never leave Him. I would never knowingly deny the Savior and a cause that I have exhausted myself in. I would never do such a thing as to turn away from teachings and prophecies which I myself have testified to be true. Not me. Maybe others would, but I never will." He knew in his heart, by testimony, that the Savior was who He claimed to be, and he knew that he could never deny that.
Peter's public declaration was very admirable and probably impressive to many of those present. However, just like how, occasionally, we find that our bark is worse than our bite, Peter would eventually fail to live up to his brave remarks.
The night advanced into the scene of the Garden of Gethsemane. Peter being present during the Lord's suffering, perhaps embarrassingly, was beckoned to not fall asleep. Then came the betrayal, and the attacking and subsequent healing of a guard, where Peter lashed out and struck a man's ear, and then witnessed a healing miracle performed by Jesus. Jesus then hinted that, if He wanted to, He could escape the guards, but He had to fulfill His father's will, but Peter failed to either believe or comprehend just what Christ meant. A little later into the night, we arrive at a crucial moment in the life of this passionate, rash, but determined disciple.
Peter followed Jesus and the guards up the high priest, Caiaphas', palace. As Jesus was being unjustly tried, Peter sat outside the palace, probably trying frantically to determine what his next move should be, but what on earth he could possibly do? It was then that Peter did what he had previously thought to be unthinkable.
When Peter was questioned by a damsel outside of the palace who asserted it was him who was with Jesus in Galilee, he flagrantly denied her accusations. Later, a maid insisted that he was with Jesus in Nazareth, he stated, "I know not the man." (Matt 26:72) Finally, he was approached by yet more people who said, paraphrasing, "you have to be one of them, those disciples, the way you talk gives it away." Peter then, in a fit of rage, began to curse and swear saying, "I know not the man." The cock then crowed, and Peter, at the realization of what he had done, went out and wept bitterly.
Everything Peter has been and much of who he can become hinges on what he does next. He has just betrayed Jesus, he has done something that he knew in his heart to be completely against everything he believed in. The pressures of life, the social pressures, and got to him and he broke. This man, who had witnessed so many miracles, who had walked and talked and ate with the very Son of Man, Himself, threw all of that away in a moment of weakness. If the story ended here it would be one of the saddest stories in all of the scriptures. It would be a terrible ending to a story of a man with such great potential and promise, but as we know, this isn't where Peter's story ended. Peter was given a choice.
Let's pause for a second to draw another parallel between Peter's story and our own lives. Undoubtedly, we will all make mistakes, and some of them will be grievous. Some of those grievous mistakes will occur after we have publicly pledged our loyalty and our lives to a cause that we hold dear to our hearts and means more than our occupation and our livelihood, and as we would profess, our lives. We will feel as though we have betrayed our very deepest values and beliefs, and bitter weeping will ensue. However, we, like Peter are faced with a choice. We can either let our appetites and our sorrows consume us to the point where we throw away everything that has made us who we are, experiences, friends, and values, or we can repent. We can come back and rededicate our lives to a cause we have born witness to in times past. Peter chose to come back.
This for me, is why I've come love Peter. I'm sure he wanted to retreat into a former life and occupation, to wallow in the misery of his mistake, but he made a conscious decision to not just return, but return better. From the point of his denial, to when he repented and returned, he came back stronger, and a seemingly new person whose leadership led to the gospel being brought to a people who had previously been devoid of it. He became a man whose sermons moved entire congregations and, with John, was able to heal a lame man. He assumed the role of chief apostle and stood boldly spoke for his brethren before the Sanhedrin, "the Jewish senate and highest native court in both civil and ecclesiastical matters," (Bible Dictionary) a veritable supreme court of the Jewish people.
In the end Peter carried his conviction all the way to death, a place he was previously to afraid to travel.
Peter came back, and so can we. If this man who had such conviction and such a personal relationship with the Savior fell, denying His divinity which only early he was so eager to testify of, and found the courage to come back stronger than ever, so can we. It doesn't matter where we've been, how high we have traveled or how low we have come from before making a serious mistake, we like Peter can come back an even more power disciple of Christ, fearlessly proclaiming what we know to be true. Granted, there will be some bitter weeping at the cost of what we have done, and it will be a matter to be resolved between ourselves and God (and possibly the proper authority), but we can return through the grace of the Atonement.
I know the Atonement is real, and I know the lonely pains of bitter weeping, but I know that the Lord will never forsake us, and in those times heartache, not for the world's sake, but because we know we have betrayed our Lord, He can be the one that we turn to, giving us new hope for a future of miracles and dedicated discipleship. It is the essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I hope that you can come to that same faith as well, as something more real than the air you breathe.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
References:
http://www.lds.org/ensign/print/2013/05/lord-i-believe?lang=eng&clang=eng
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1979/04/and-peter-went-out-and-wept-bitterly
http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bd/sanhedrin
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